Alyssa Milano Theory
“It won’t be cheating if it’s with Alyssa Milano.”
“For my free pass, I choose Alyssa Milano.”
“If I could take one thing to a deserted island, I would take Alyssa Milano and only Alyssa Milano”
Why Alyssa Milano?
First off, Alyssa Milano is simply the name of a Theory that states, “We all have one person of the opposite sex that we are and always will be attracted to because we grew up hormonally with them.”
To understand and see the significance of the Theory, you must first bring yourself back to your days as a 6th, 7th and 8th grader. These were the days where the opposite sex started to be more than the enemy. The opposite sex started creeping into your personal mental space where GI Joes and Thunder Cats roamed. And while roaming in that space you began to want them to want you. Whether it was through being the best kick ball player or the one who could solve math problems without using your fingers, you wanted them to notice you.
For me, this time in my life SLOWLY took place (but never took shape till college) from 1986 to 1989 when “Who’s the Boss?” ranked in the Top 10 for three consecutive years on the Nielson Ratings. Every Tuesday night had a young Samantha Micelli grow into her body and one day bloom to the point of wanting the “one with the little red bow”.
As I was growing through my preteens as the uncoordinated, two-time most improved athlete, who was already 5-8 w/ enormous feet, Samantha Micelli was going through the same awkward growth spurts in Fairfield County, Connecticut as well as beginning her short lived athletic career in her 1988 workout video “Teen Steam”.
Side note: and here begins the eerie parallel.
1) By 1988, I had played my last organized basketball game as an eighth grade starter for the St. Monica Bulldogs and had been cut from my high school basketball team. This would be the first of three consecutive years that I would not see my name on the list. So still being awkward and passionate about basketball but definitely not good at it, I began the process of defining my college basketball dreams in 1992 when I entered Santa Clara University with eyes on being a college basketball coach by becoming a basketball manager.
2) In 1992 Alyssa Milano looking to drop her Samantha Micelli image, began the first of five movies to redefine herself as a well rounded accomplished actress. During this time, she went from wholesome Sam to sexual Lily in Poison Ivy II. She was now an actress and moving toward such television roles as Jennifer Mancini in Melrose Place and Phoebe in Charmed.
From Teen Steam to having her own apartment in Melrose place, Alyssa matured both in her acting as well as physically. We not only grew up together, we were growing up together. She was now the girl who caught my attention when my attention was being able to be caught and the Theory was born.
Other names you could replace (but truly can’t replace) Alyssa Milano for:
Movies and Television:
Ralph Macchio – “Outsiders”, “Karate Kid”
Drew Barrymore (a Sheehy favorite) - “Motorama”, “Poison Ivy I”, “No Place to Hide”, “Bad Girls”, “Wishful Thinking”, and “Charlie’s Angel’s”.
Kirk Cameron – Mike Seaver in “Growing Pains”, the cover of “Teen Beat” and “Tiger Beat” magazines, and the movies “You Lucky Dog” and “Left Behind”
Music:
Paula Abdul – “Straight Up”, “Forever your Girl”, Cold Hearted Snake”, and “Promise of a New Day”
Billy Ocean (six #1 hits in a span of 4 years) – “Caribbean Queen”, “Lover Boy”, “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going”, “There will be Sad Songs (to make you cry)”, “Love Zone”, and “Get Out of my Dreams, And into My Car.”
Other:
John Francis Bongiovi aka Jon Bon Jovi – Numerous #1 hits from the band Bon Jovi in which they have been able to cross over rock and country. He has also starred / cameos in numerous television and movie appearances.
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