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Random Thoughts: Quality TV and the formation of the Nerd/Dork/Goofy Guy Theory
With the show now over and everyone knowing that Tessa received the final rose, I thought I would write some random thoughts on Tessa, Bevin, Andy, and the show in general.
First off, this truly is quality television. I understand that Grey's Anatomy definitely floats on the same quality television category but unlike Grey's the Bachelor is REAL TV. For example in an early episode of Grey's, a guy swallows a key and is rushed to Seattle Grace. A member of the cast proceeds to incorrectly perform the procedure by placing what should be forceps or a US Endoscopy Maxi Roth Net down the guy's throat without a Guardus Over Tube.
Side note: though forceps would probably be ideal, a US Endoscopy Maxi Roth Net may work even better if the key wasn't very sharp because the US Endoscopy Maxi Roth Net would be able to engulf the key guaranteeing you don't lose it once it's netted.
And everyone knows you can't simply intubate using the biomedical device because you risk perforation of the esophagus or worse case killing the guy if you don't first intubate with a US Endoscopy Guardus Over Tube to assist in potential multiple intubations, to protect the esophagus, and to prevent anything from going into the windpipe. Quality television ... yes ... true to life television ... not close.
And that is where the Bachelor is truly quality TV. Everything that happens on the show can happen in "real life" because it is real life! Example I: Andy's awesome visit to see Amber's family ... oops ... Amber's family doesn't approve of her being on the show so they don't show up! If this was simply canned television, Amber's parents would be all over Andy telling him that their daughter is so special and has been looking for a man like him. How Amber is mature and cares about being a family woman, a provider.
Instead, we are taken to her apartment where her toy rat like dog goes bonkers and her conversation with her roommate is similar to 2 high school girls at the mall trying to pick out which dress to wear for the homecoming football game as they tell each other how far they have gotten with their football boyfriends and will go during homecoming. And to further hammer the reality dagger into Amber's situation her aunt gives her the huge surprise of showing up ... uncomfortable and unfortunate for Amber.
And how about when Andy didn't give her a rose! He never answered her question about how he said age didn't matter or why he didn't choose her. He avoided every aspect of not picking her. So we are left seeing the black town car drive off and Amber squealing as she tells us how she always gets burned by men. How every relationship she has had the men end up treating her poorly. How she has no luck with men.
My first thought was .. Amber you are only 23 years old!!!!!!!!!!!! When you are a single 40 plus cougar at the Balboa Café and still have the same bad luck then maybe you can squeal but at 23, the best thing for you was not to get picked.
Because if you were picked, you would be the 36 year old divorced (probably with at least 2 kids because Andy is all about having an awesome family) cougar at the Balboa Café whom all the young and old meat heads strike up witty conversations to make you feel special because they know you put out, want to put out, and at this point in your life (at least for a night) would settle for anything.
My second thought was EVERY girl on the show says the same thing ... how they have "bad luck", how all their past relationships have been bad, how every guy they have met treats them poorly, and how they can't find any quality guys.
First .. like coming on a reality TV show to meet a man of your dreams is actually going to change everything. Ladies, think about it ... the Bachelor basically is the perfect bar, the bar every single guy is looking for ... drinks flowing like water, no "competition", and good looking girls who only want him and will do anything to get him. The very premise of being the Bachelor is to get with (however you want to define "get with") multiple women at the same time in an effort to find the one who makes him "feel" the best in the end. Second maybe these ladies need to change their frame of mind of what they are looking for in a guy. No question there has to be some physical attraction but you can see the physical attraction through many forms such as enthusiasm, energy, confidence, and positivity.
What women need are NERDS, DORKS, GOOF BALLS, or SPASTICS.
Yes, it would be great to find a guy with six pack abs and great looks till you realize that he cares more about trying to find his next "victim". And what about trying to have a conversation with a meat head that goes past the recent articles in Men's Health or the latest Maxim magazine poll.
Yes it would be great to have a guy who can pick up any sport and be good at it until you realize you're not in high school anymore. And that his ability to grab a golf club without practicing and score below a hundred or pick up a baseball bat and begin spraying singles all over the field really doesn't help much in a relationship ... unless you are looking to go to the local playground and kick some 8th graders' butts in a game of strike out.
Yes it would be great to find a guy who is cool, trendy, and wealthy until you figure out that the reason he is cool, trendy, and wealthy is because he only cares about himself and getting cool, trendy, and wealthy.
This is not to say that there aren't guys with the above characteristics who are quality guys. But rather change your frame of mind of what an ideal guy looks and is like.
Think about the ideal guy as someone who knows and accepts he is a nerd, a dork, a goof ball, or even a spasm. His acceptance and knowledge of himself shows he has taken the time to understand himself and is now ready to understand you and let someone enter his life. The best example I can give is from the 1984 movie Revenge of the Nerds.
In the scene, the Lamda, Lamda, Lamda's team up with the Omega Mus in the fraternity Olympics. During the "fund-raising event", the Alpha Betas have a kissing booth where students pay to kiss such "campus celebrities" as football stud Stan Gable and his cheerleader goddess of a girlfriend Betty Childs while the Lamdas and Omega Mus have cream filled pies that contain naughty pictures of the Pi Delta Pi's.
Lewis, the head of Lamdas, puts on a Darth Vader costume that looks identical to Stan's. He then takes the hand of Betty who "all this kissing is making me horny" Childs and walks her to into the Funny House and the moon walk room. There he lays her down not showing his face till the end of the pleasure session!
Betty being completely satisfied pulls her Darth Vader up from below her waist only to realize it's a NERD! Surprised but completely happy, she looks into Stan's eyes as he tells her, "All jocks ever think about is sports. All we [nerds] ever think about is sex."
All nerds, dorks, goof balls, and spasms think about is learning and pleasing you because they have already accepted who they are and aren't trying to be someone they are not. As seen when Gilbert declared, "I am a nerd and proud of it." He further goes to ask the crowd who has ever been picked on, left out, or treated poorly because of who they are should come forward and join them.
And in a classic single clap leading to an outpour of clapping, everyone joins them. In the end, we are all nerdy, dorky, goofy, and spastic in our own way and our acceptance of this allows us to be happy and completely bring someone into our lives giving us the ability to have a positive relationship.
Back to the Bachelor .... Random thoughts ....
Andy "Mc Awesome" Baldwin:
1) Have you ever seen a more awesome ventriloquist? His mouth never moves. He had an awesome ability to have his mouth barely open in a smile position and speak. During the season finale, I was waiting for some sort of hand puppet dressed in a Navy diving suit to pop out and start trying to grab cheap feels from the girls.
2) Cheap Feels ... I started my cheap feel count for the season finale when my bright bulb told me if I keep counting or trying to count I can watch the seasonal finale somewhere else ... I did count two awesomely casual attempts at a cheap feel as well as an attempted missed kiss.
3) Not sure how many Naval Medical Officers can make me feel as awesome and intelligent as Andy did ... And I can't even pronounce half the terms I use on a daily basis correctly.
Bevin
1) Still think, like many people, that Bevin faked her injury to get one on one time with the Andy. After reviewing her fall numerous times her right foot made it directly into the tire. So unless there was a rock, a random bio medical device, or something planted by the Barbie twins, Bevin's ankle injury was an awesome strategic move to get face time.
2) Further, for those of you who saw the "After the Rose Ceremony" ... how come Bevin was wearing a cast? If she "broke" her ankle during the taping of the show then why is there a cast now? I clearly remember seeing her in the last 2 episodes not on crutches, a boot, or a cast but HEELS! Someone has to explain the chronological order to me.
3) She was raised in the Bai' Hai' faith? ... in tagalong I think that means a house. And did you see Mc Awesome's reaction after Bevin told his grandfather the religion she was raised in? Shoulders dropped, arm began plowing food into face, and complete avoidance of any eye contact.
a. If I ever have the opportunity to raise kids, I think I will raise my kids in the DimBulb Faith ... pops is always right so you do what he says and all will be good. And when you turn 19 (unless I have a daughter then she must wait till she is 27) you can choose, create, and live by any faith you would like.
Tessa
1) May be too good for the show. She never seemed to come across as desperate, clingy, needy, psycho, immature, weighed down, fraught w/ issues, frantic, and undeveloped. She even did the Rob Jolles Xerox Spinning Selling technique of turning the tables by making Andy create his need for her!
a. I may have to propose US Endoscopy bring in Tessa at our next National Sales meeting.
2) She lives in San Francisco ... my new goal when going out in the city is to find Tessa because we all know once Andy goes back to work she?ll realize 1) she only sees him in short spurts, 2) that he and his collection of GI Joe figures have complete conversations, and 3) his buddy Gatsby doesn't move out of the spare room because they are training partners.
3) She described an aspect of good/ideal relationship as when "you like yourself around that person." Now that is quality.
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